I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
