i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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