If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
