I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
