is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
