my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
