ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
