my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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