I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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