Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
