I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
