If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize