About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
