oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
