I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
