YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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