We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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