Im at strip club and am horny
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize