evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he thought i was a dude.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
