I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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