He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
