She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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