Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
