I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
