i just had sex bonerless
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
