he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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