If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
