Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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