thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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