Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
how does that bad decision feel?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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