? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
