It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So squirting runs in the family.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.