Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
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I love how my cats smell like pot.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
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And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.