So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
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I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
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I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.