I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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