You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
