I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
