Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just blew my weed a kiss
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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