dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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