I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
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I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize