There is no way he is gay with that hair.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
