There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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