i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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