I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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