Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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