What a fucking waste of an outfit
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
