physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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