yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
