I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
