I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
