and you said cock pushups were impossible
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she peed on how many people?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
