Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize