im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
