if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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