hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
