Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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