Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
