Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
