Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
