if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
