I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
kristin has been a bad kristin
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
