just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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