Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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