Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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