He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize