If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize