I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
