i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
