i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
