I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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