yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
